Wednesday, May 30, 2012

twisted mind of mine

few hours ago i was so dissapointed with i have in life. i hate my life i hate my job and i even determined to start blogging again just to complain how pathetic my life was. all of this negative vibes takes over me just because i got scold for making a mistake. pretty stupid huh. but living in a stressfull life for almost a year (been working exactly for a year today. yay or nayy? -_-' )can lead to mixed up emotions and behaviours.

but yeah, after full stomach with spicy delicious pecel lele, enormous laugh thanks to running man (and my new addiction park jisung <3) and also endless drama of gossip "boring" girls, i manage to turn my mood around. and well figure out some thoughts. at first i was thinking, like realllyyyy want to figure out what excuses i should make in the meeting tomorrow so i dont have to face any of those harsh comment again but then it just hit me. yes i made a mistakes but what can i do to fix or at least make a good effort from that mistakes. so i dig deep, i manage to find another important findings regarding the issues, which will never being found if i didnt make the mistake anyway. so screw you harsh commentor.

i mean not all mistakes are bad  for you. so what i wanna say is facing difficult life or situation might boiling up your anger messing up with your heads but it wont be forever you see. YOU DECIDE HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. i choose to live in a pretty miserable life this one year. i choose not to be happy. i choose to not feel grateful for what i have. i choose to take my job so freakin seriously and mixed up everything with my personal life. and i dont wanna be like this anymore. well i cant promise not to feel depress or misbehave. hihi. because it will be impossible!but i will try to be better. maybe by starting to blog again :P i was thinking to blog about food since im a eater. i lovee food. but yeah we'll see how long this motivated version of Ayuni going to last. though i have to admit im not good at blogging, im always short of words. i dont know how to be funny i dont know how to be interesting. but who cares. i do this for me, my own satisfaction not others.and ill promise myself to be as honest as i can. so till my next ranting which i hope to be soon.

i wish to have this soon. the last thing to cross off my student's life wishlist. pray for me? :)


Zuwwy said...

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Shaina Comullo said...

Always do the things that makes you happy dear :)

TW said...

Maybe you should make the move and change your career.
I have heard about this trainning, maybe it could be useful for you.
Escape your job workshop